How to put up a shelf.

1. What is it for?
2. How does it work?
3. How many do I need?
4. Who is it for?
5. Can I make it?
6. Will it be good enough?
7. How will I know?
8. Will this be the only one?
9. What is it called?
10. What do I need to make it?
11. What do I already have?
12. What do I need to get?
13. Do I have the right tools?
14. How long will it take?
15. Do I have enough time?
16. Can I do it today?
17. Can I do it in one go?
18. Will it make a mess?
19. Will other people mind?
20. Where do I put it?
21. Why there?
22. Is it too high?
23. Too low?
24. In the middle?
25. What will it be made from?
26. How do I know how to make this?
27. Where did I learn this?
28. Was that the only time?
29. Was I taught or did I learn?
30. Could I teach someone else how to do this?
31. Would that be helpful?
32. Would they thank me?
33. Why don’t I just do it?
34. Does that make me a bully?
35. Does that make me patronising?
36. Have they noticed?
37. Which tools will I need?
38. Where are they?
39. Do I need to borrow any tools?
40. Has anyone borrowed any of mine?
41. Will I get them back?
42. Shall I leave my tools in the toolbox and get them as required?
43. Shall I take the ones out that I need to make it easier?
44. Can I be bothered to tidy the toolbox?
45. What happens if something goes wrong?
46. Do I need to take any special precautions?
47. Is there any risk of fire?
48. Is there any risk of electrocution?
49. Is there any risk of leaks from water or gas?
50. Will I be using any hazardous chemicals?
51. Can they be safely stored on site?
52. Should I stop over analysing and get on with it?
53. Will that create extra risk?
54. Am I nervous about putting this up here?
55. Will I get into trouble because I haven’t asked permission?
56. Do I give a fuck?
57. What will people think?
58. How will I choose what to do first?
59. Which is the best side of the shelf?
60. Will these splinters matter?
61. Could I have got a better type of material?
62. Should I sand the edges?
63. Do I have any sandpaper?
64. What do I have instead that will do the job?
65. Will the SurForm remove too much material?
66. Is it going against the lay of the grain?
67. Have any of the splinters run into the surface?
68. Do I need to make the edge fully rounded?
69. Am I removing more from the start of the edge than the end?
70. Have I turned the shelf over the right way?
71. Do I need to do all the edges?
72. Will the SurForm do the corners?
73. What shall I use instead?
74. Does the lay of the grain run in the same direction on the side?
75. Is that smooth enough?
76. Will it splinter on the corner if I go across the grain?
77. Do I like using this tool?
78. How much dust is there?
79. Should I empty the shavings from the SurForm now?
80. Will I need the SurForm again?
81. Should I sweep the shavings onto the floor with my hand or a brush?
82. Is the tile file the only one I have?
83. Why do I always forget to buy files?
84. Does this file ever get used for tiles anymore?
85. If I rock it over the corner will that make a smooth finish?
86. Do I still agree with my choice of the good side?
87. Shall I try the brackets out on the underside of the shelf?
88. Are they the right size?
89. What spacing should they be?
90. Are they flush with the edge of the shelf?
91. Shall I use a try square to check?
92. Are they square?
93. Can I bend them square with my hand?
94. Why does that one not look right?
95. Does 100 millimetres sound about right for the distance from the edge?
96. How should I make the marks?
97. Is the square sitting flush against the edge now that it has been smoothed?
98. Do I need to make two marks?
99. Are they lining up?
100. Does the pencil line matter?
101. How does the bracket look in that position?
102. Why can’t I see the line through the screw hole?
103. Do I need to extend the line?
104. Should I use the level as a straight edge?
105. Is the line matching up with the old one?
106. With the new line, will I be able to see where to screw the bracket in place?
107. Does my pencil point fit through the hole in the bracket?
108. Shall I use the marking tool instead?
109. Why is it so blunt?
110. Can I see the marks clearly enough?
111. Is the tip of the tool on the mark?
112. Will one strike of the hammer be enough?
113. How do I know the brackets are the same?
114. Shall I label them respective to their positions?
115. Shall I mark the rear of the bracket so it cannot be seen when installed?
116. How should they be labelled?
117. Are they the same after all?
118. Do the holes and the marks line up?
119. Am I sure?
120. Am I doing this right?
121. Is the bracket flush with the edge?
122. Do I use the try square again to help?
123. Can I see the pencil line through the hole?
124. Can I see the mark I made with the marking tool?
125. Is the tip of the tool on the mark?
126. Will one strike of the hammer be enough?
127. Do I need to check the measurement between the lines?
128. Is it still 450 millimetres?
129. Should I write that down?
130. Does it look ok?
131. Do I know what I need to do next?
132. Do I need to move to the wall?
133. Shall I put the shelf over by the wall?
134. Shall I take the brackets too?
135. Shall I put the level on the wall and see if it looks right?
136. Is it level?
137. Does it look right?
138. Was that the right thing to do?
139. Should I measure the height first?
140. Is the end of the tape measure touching the floor?
141. Is the tape straight?
142. Will it stay where I want it?
143. Is the tape approximately vertical?
144. Will putting my foot against the end of the tape stop it from moving?
145. Did it move?
146. Is this the right height?
147. What height is it?
148. Do I need to mark the position with a pencil?
149. Will a short, small mark be enough?
150. Will I be able to see it after I’ve looked away?
151. Can I now use the mark to guide where the level goes?
152. Should I put the level on the wall upside down so I can use the full edge?
153. Is it on the mark?
154. Is it level?
155. Is the level pressed firmly against the wall?
156. Does the middle of the wall offer the best position for the shelf?
157. Is that aesthetically at ease with the surroundings?
158. Are there any significant bumps on the wall?
159. Does the spirit level lie flat?
160. Is it level?
161. Is it moving?
162. Why don’t I put the end into the corner to brace its position?
163. Is the pencil sharp enough?
164. Do I draw on, below or above the edge of the level?
165. Is that pressing too hard?
166. Is the line clear enough?
167. Will I be able to erase it after the shelf is up?
168. Is this the right height after all?
169. Do I need a line across the entire width of the space?
170. Is the level on the line exactly?
171. Has my new pencil line deviated from the original?
172. Will that suffice?
173. How wide, exactly is the space?
174. Shall I hold the shelf up to the line to see what it looks like?
175. How does it look?
176. What do I do next?
177. Why?
178. Can I rest the shelf on its edge?
179. Why won’t it stay upright?
180. What is the length of the shelf again?
181. Shall I put it on the floor now so it doesn’t fall?
182. What’s the exact width of the wall?
183. Will the end of the tape measure stay in the corner if I push it?
184. Shall I write the measurement on the wall where I can see it?
185. What is 910 minus 650?
186. What is half of that?
187. Is that correct?
188. Do I trust my arithmetic?
189. Am I remembering to measure twice and cut once?
190. How do I need to set out these measurements on the wall?
191. Which mark shall I make first?
192. Shall I hold up the shelf again in the correct position to check how it looks?
193. How does it look?
194. Which measurement should be next?
195. Can I support the weight of the tape measure by pressing it against the wall?
196. Do I hold the tape with my left hand even though it is more awkward?
197. Can I see where to make the mark?
198. Is that mark in the right place?
199. Do I measure 650 from the mark or 130 from the other edge of the wall?
200. Why?
201. Would it be useful to mark the position of the other end of the shelf?
202. Did I remember to allow for the 100 mark on the tape to give accuracy?
203. Is it accurate?
204. Does it look right?
205. Both sides?
206. Should I not make the marks where they line up with the brackets?
207. How far in from the edge of the shelf are the brackets?
208. What’s the distance between the two new marks meant to be?
209. Can I just measure 450 from the first new mark
210. Is that mark there now 100 from the last one?
211. Is that all the marking on the wall complete?
212. How will I know where to drill the holes?
213. Shall I drop lines down from the horizontal?
214. On which mark should they be made?
215. Shall I use the spirit level to ensure they’re vertical?
216. Is it on the mark?
217. Is it vertical?
218. Am I holding it securely?
219. How long does the line need to be?
220. Is the other mark too faint?
221. Shall I make it again?
222. Is the level on the mark?
223. Is it vertical?
224. Am I holding it securely?
225. If I hold a bracket to the wall can I see the line through the screw hole?
226. Are the brackets square?
227. Am I surprised?
228. Do I wish I’d got some different brackets now?
229. Do they sit flush against the wall?
230. Are they going to look as cheap as they are?
231. Do I line them up with the near or far end?
232. Should I get the try square to be accurate?
233. How can I close the gap between the square and the bracket?
234. Is this accurate after all?
235. Can I use the square in my right hand to tap up the bracket in my left?
236. What shall I use to mark the wall?
237. Will one mark suffice?
238. Is the tip of the tool on the mark?
239. How hard do I hit it with the hammer?
240. One or two blows?
241. Did I use the correct bracket?
242. Shall I get the correct one to check?
243. Is the mark still correct?
244. Should I label the wall?
245. Can I hold the marking tool in my teeth?
246. Is the bracket in the correct position?
247. Shall I use the square again to check?
248. Will it be exactly approximately correct in respect of the other?
249. How does it look from the side?
250. Can I see the mark?
251. Is the tip of the tool on the mark?
252. One blow or two with the hammer?
253. Am I ready to drill a hole?
254. What if they’re in the wrong place?
255. Is this the point of no return?
256. What size drill bit should I use?
257. Have I got one of that size?
258. What do I expect to encounter when drilling?
259. Will this cordless drill be sufficiently powerful?
260. Is the bit correctly inserted into the chuck?
261. Is it tight?
262. Is it set to the correct speed?
263. Is it set to the correct direction?
264. Is the drill tip on the mark exactly?
265. Do I start the drill slowly or quickly?
266. Is the drill level and straight?
267. How much pressure do I need to exert on the drill?
268. Is it going in straight?
269. How deep should I go?
270. Shall I keep the drill turning to remove the waste?
271. How many times do I need to move it in and out of the hole to clear it?
272. Can I put my finger on the bit to mark the depth?
273. Will I remember this depth just by sight?
274. What do I think the wall is made of?
275. Do I expect the next hole to be as easy?
276. Is the drill tip on the mark exactly?
277. Is the drill level and straight?
278. How much pressure do I need to exert on the drill?
279. Is it going in straight?
280. How deep should I go?
281. Did the drill just wobble?
282. Does that mean the wall is harder here?
283. Will the hole be too big now?
284. How many times do I need to move it in and out of the hole to clear the waste?
285. Can I see the hole clearly?
286. Shall I blow the dust away?
287. What size wall plugs do I need?
288. Do I have enough?
289. Do they go into the first hole easily?
290. Is it too loose?
291. Will it turn once the screw is inserted?
292. Does it sit flush with the wall?
293. Does the second hole seem too big?
294. Shall I try a different type of wall plug?
295. Does it go in ok?
296. Are these wall plugs better than the first ones?
297. Do I feel I know what is likely to happen when I drive in the screw?
298. Do I know this because I’ve experienced this before?
299. Does that make me think more about my knowledge?
300. Am I reminded of being a handyman full time?
301. How does that make me feel?
302. Are the wall plugs flush with the wall?
303. Shall I tap them in with the hammer?
304. How hard should I strike them?
305. Am I worried about cracking the plaster?
306. What do I do next?
307. Shall I change the drill bit ready for the next stage?
308. Which bit do I need?
309. Which screws shall I use?
310. Which size head do they have?
311. Do I have a pozidrive bit?
312. Shall I put the shelf up to the wall again?
313. How am I going to proceed?
314. Do I put the brackets on the wall or on the shelf?
315. If I put the brackets on the shelf, where will I do this?
316. Which type of screw do I need to hold the shelf to the brackets?
317. Do I have any?
318. Can I use the same driver bit?
319. Shall I put one on the bit ready?
320. Will the magnet in the bit hold it securely?
321. How can I hold a shelf, a bracket and a drill?
322. Should I put the shelf on the wall?
323. How do I feel about this plan?
324. Can I use my forearm to hold the shelf so I have my left hand free?
325. Is it the correct bracket?
326. Is it in the correct position?
327. Should I use a screwdriver to drive in the first screw by hand?
328. Will my hands get tired if I do them all this way?
329. Do I miss screwing in screws by hand?
330. Do I think I will over-tighten this way?
331. Shall I wedge the edge of the shelf in the corner for security?
332. Is that improved?
333. Shall I use the drill for the next one?
334. Is the screw still on the bit?
335. Is the point of the screw in the hole?
336. How tight should it be?
337. Is the drill too fast?
338. Is it too tight?
339. Is it turning in the hole?
340. Will this be strong enough?
341. Does this feel satisfying?
342. Shall I lower the torque setting?
343. Shall I go round the screws again and tighten them?
344. Would it be easier to turn the shelf around on the wall?
345. Is the bracket the right way round?
346. Can I put the screw into the hole by hand so it stays?
347. Shall I do this one by hand too?
348. Is it tight enough?
349. Shall I use the drill to check the tightness?
350. Will the shelf slip too far?
351. Do I need to press harder?
352. Is my arm getting tired?
353. Why am I doing this against the wall and not on the table?
354. Does it matter?
355. Am I doing this to show-off or demonstrate?
356. What’s the difference?
357. Do I feel like the screws are tight enough overall?
358. Did the bit engage with the screw head?
359. Does the shelf look good against the wall with the brackets?
360. Do the holes line up?
361. Is the shelf level with the holes in alignment?
362. Do I trust the top surface before it’s been fixed to the wall?
363. How will I mark for the remaining holes on the wall?
364. Will another screw be best?
365. Have I got a suitable one handy?
366. Is the shelf in the correct position?
367. Is it level?
368. Does the screw make enough of a mark?
369. Will I remember where to look for the marks?
370. Is the tip of the tool on the mark?
371. Is one hammer blow enough?
372. Is the tip of the tool on the mark?
373. Is one hammer blow enough?
374. Is the tip of the tool on the mark?
375. Is one hammer blow enough?
376. Is the tip of the tool on the mark?
377. Is one hammer blow enough?
378. Do I need to change the drill bit again?
379. Shall I use the same size bit as before?
380. Is the bit correctly inserted into the chuck?
381. Is it tight?
382. Is it set to the correct speed?
383. Is it set to the correct direction?
384. Is the drill tip on the mark exactly?
385. Do I start the drill slowly or quickly?
386. Is the drill level and straight?
387. How much pressure do I need to exert on the drill?
388. Is it going in straight?
389. Does this feel as though I’ve hit a hard part of the wall?
390. What shall I do if the drill won’t make the hole?
391. How deep should I go?
392. How deep can I go?
393. How much pressure can I put on the bit?
394. Shall I leave this hole and return to it later?
395. Shall I keep the drill turning to remove the waste?
396. Do I expect the next hole to be as difficult?
397. Is the drill tip on the mark exactly?
398. Is the drill level and straight?
399. How much pressure do I need to exert on the drill?
400. Is it going in straight?
401. How deep should I go?
402. Shall I keep the drill turning to remove the waste?
403. How many times do I need to move it in and out of the hole to clear it?
404. Am I remembering the depth correctly?
405. Why was this hole so much easier than the last to make?
406. Do I expect the next hole to be as easy?
407. What shall I do about that first hole?
408. Is the drill tip on the mark exactly?
409. Is the drill level and straight?
410. How much pressure do I need to exert on the drill?
411. Is it going in straight?
412. How deep should I go?
413. Shall I keep the drill turning to remove the waste?
414. How many times do I need to move it in and out of the hole to clear it?
415. Am I remembering the depth correctly?
416. Do I expect the next hole to be as easy?
417. What shall I do about that first hole?
418. Is the drill tip on the mark exactly?
419. Is the drill level and straight?
420. How much pressure do I need to exert on the drill?
421. Is it going in straight?
422. How deep should I go?
423. Shall I keep the drill turning to remove the waste?
424. How many times do I need to move it in and out of the hole to clear it?
425. Am I remembering the depth correctly?
426. Shall I return to the first hole?
427. How deep did it go last time?
428. How much deeper do I need to go?
429. Can I get away with using a shorter screw?
430. Will that mean the shelf isn’t held up correctly?
431. How do I brace myself to keep the drill straight?
432. Can I smell burning?
433. Do I think I’ve hit a pebble in the concrete?
434. Do I think I’ve hit some rebar in the concrete?
435. Which type of concrete is this building made from?
436. Will my drill bit be blunt?
437. Is it getting too hot?
438. Can I smell burning concrete?
439. How deep is it now?
440. Shall I just try even harder?
441. Shall I stand back so I can put more pressure on the bit?
442. Can I keep it steady enough?
443. Do I really need a side handle for the drill?
444. Is it wobbling too much?
445. Will the hole be too big?
446. How deep is it now?
447. Do I need a rest?
448. Is any new material being removed?
449. Did the blowback of dust help clear the hole?
450. Does the wall feel solid when I bang it with the drill tip?
451. How much farther to go?
452. Does the drill impress me?
453. Do I wish I were using a corded device?
454. Was that a softening of the material?
455. Did I now drill too far?
456. Shall I blow out the dust?
457. How do I avoid getting concrete dust on my face?
458. Do I use the same wall plugs as before?
459. Shall I use a different wall plug for the difficult hole?
460. Which type?
461. Why?
462. How do I know this?
463. How many times has this happened before?
464. Did the normal wall plugs go in ok?
465. Did the other wall plug go in far enough?
466. Shall I hit it the hammer?
467. Will that shatter or break the wall plug?
468. Will I be able to remove it if that happens?
469. How?
470. Will it damage the wall?
471. How do I remove the part that stands proud?
472. Do I have a Stanley knife handy?
473. Is it sharp?
474. Can I do it in one motion?
475. Do I need to make several cuts?
476. Is it flush?
477. Am I thinking about safety?
478. Have I cut myself like this before?
479. Do I need to change the drill bit back again?
480. Is the screwdriver attachment securely in the chuck?
481. Is the drill set to the correct speed?
482. Is the drill set to the correct direction?
483. Is the torque setting correct?
484. How shall I proceed?
485. Which screws will I use?
486. Do I have them handy?
487. Shall I put them on the ledge ready?
488. Are there 6?
489. Will the screw hold securely on the driver bit?
490. Can I hold the shelf securely with my left hand?
491. Which position shall I fix first?
492. Did it feel like the wall plug was spinning in the hole?
493. Did the screw spin in the wall plug?
494. Shall I do the mirror-image position next?
495. Are the screws too small?
496. Do they appear to be holding?
497. Have I remember to set the torque?
498. Is the shelf strong yet?
499. Do I feel like I’m nearly finished?
500. Do I enjoy this part more than any other?
501. Is the screw securely held on the driver bit?
502. Shall I retighten the other screws?
503. Shall I lower the torque setting?
504. Is the shelf strong now?
505. Does it feel smooth along the top?
506. Do I trust that is level?
507. Why not?
508. Does it matter?
509. Is the spirit level in the right place?
510. Is the shelf level?
511. Can I bend down the left corner to make it level?
512. Is the shelf level?
513. Did the bending make any difference?
514. Shall I bend it again?
515. Was that too far?
516. Shall I push it back up into position?
517. Is it level where it meets the wall?
518. How can I correct that?
519. Shall I use the hammer?
520. Will a few taps on the right hand side be enough?
521. Is the shelf level?
522. Is the shelf level at the front?
523. Can I hit it harder at the wall without weakening the fixings?
524. Is the shelf level?
525. Is the shelf level at the front?
526. Shall I use the hammer to tap up the right hand side?
527. Is the shelf level at the front?
528. Will it be level after a few gentle taps with the hammer?
529. Is the shelf level at the front?
530. Does it need more pressure down to bend the bracket?
531. Is the shelf level when the spirit level is placed diagonally?
532. Is the edge smooth enough?
533. Should I file it again?
534. Shall I drag or push the file?
535. Shall I go across the grain first, or along?
536. Are there any splinters?
537. Is it smooth enough now?
538. Does the file work well enough with the grain?
539. Does the face of the edge feel smooth enough?
540. How does it feel to touch?
541. Shall I blow away the dust?
542. Do the sides feel smooth enough?
543. Shall I file them one-handed?
544. Is there much dust on top of the shelf?
545. Will my hand brush it away?
546. Will it stay up?
547. Will people use it?
548. How long did it take?
549. Does it need painting?
550. Have I enjoyed putting up the shelf?
551. Am I happy?
552. Do I like it?
553. Is it finished?